Martyr

What is a Martyr? Someone who sacrifices their wants and needs for another and then complains about it and lets others always know how they sacrificed.  Martyrs know they are being taken advantage of and choose to live like that. They let others know just how unfair they are being treated all the time. From one year to the next no matter what the situation is they will be telling you just how they are being mistreated but yet they choose to stay in the situation and tells others all their woes.

They seek sympathy from other folks but yet when they try and give them advise or help, they wont take it. They’d rather complain about their woes than try and fix the problem. They are always the one that is being mistreated. They are professional help seekers making their rounds to anyone that will listen to them, whether they’re paid to listen or whether it’s free. But they will not take the advise they are given that will help them.

They often put on like they are working on the problem when in fact they aren’t really and others around them can see it clearly.

They often belittle, nag, and verbally put down the folks they think are taking advantage of them. They rarely change their tales of woe. People that are trying to help them finally become frustrated and discouraged.

Martyrs need to sit boundaries. There is a book on the subject. I have the one on marriage myself. Boundaries, By: Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Then they have the Boundaries in Marriage as well.

 

What is a Victim? A Victim is someone that has no clue they are being taken advantage of. When they do find out and they decide to stay in the situation they will become a Martyr.

Victims most of the time doesn’t let the folks who are taking advantage of them know how they feel about it.

Victims are open and honest about being taken advantage of and are ready to do something about it with some change.

 

 

Notice this……..

A comparison of victim and martyr characteristics
             Victim              :                Martyr
1. Usually has short-term problem : Long-term problem
2. Motivated to change : Stuck in their problem
3. Rights violated by others : Rights violated by others
4. Did not choose the problem : Chooses to remain in problem situation
5. Never complains : Complains all the time
6. Lacks insight into problem : Frequently has insight into the problem
7. Unknowingly plays an active part in the problem : Frequently knowingly plays an active part in the problem
8. Doesn't often seek help : Seeks help all the time
9. Wants to let go of the problem : Holds on to the problem
10. Guilt free : Guilt driven
11. Solution oriented : Problem oriented
12. Powerless due to lack of knowledge : Powerless out of a free will choice to be so
13. Unique problem : Habitual problems
14. Sincere desire to change : Mask of sincerity
15. Honest to self and others about the problem : Dishonest to self and others about the desire to change
16. Hesitant to get help : Seeks out help habitually
17. Reticent to talk about problem : Relishes the attention received in talking about the problem
18. Embarrassed about the problem : Wears problem as a badge of courage (purple heart)
19. Wants a quick solution to their crisis : Creates crises out of everything but blocks all solutions
20. Open to all new ideas : Holds a "yes, but" attitude to all new ideas

 

Here is some more info on this subject.

How to Overcome the Martyr Syndrome 1.

How to Overcome the Martyr Syndrome. 2.

I read a lot of this from this link below. The last part on the comparing is from here as well. So I am not trying to take credit for someone’s work.

See THIS LINK for more info on this subject.

Beach Bedroom

I’m back working on this room again. It got so hot I didn’t bother with it this summer. As you remember I started this project back in the fall of last year. I was in the hunt mode for an old dresser to match my old chest, which I finally found a couple months back. Anyway this weekend or Monday one I will go get my floor covering for the floor. It’s a neutral color that I can put any color with. I have looked around for me a bedspread and haven’t been happy with anything I’ve found.

I saw this one on this bed and about flipped out! I don’t remember WHERE I saw this pic. I had just saved it on here for an inspirational pic. But I LOVE this spread! I don’t want palm trees or lighthouses or anything like that for my bedspread. In fact what I was thinking about was this. I thought about making one something like this and making it like a duvet cover so I could take the bedspread out of it in the summertime and just use it without anything in it for the summer. Then put the spread which is more like a large quilt back in it for the wintertime.

Although my walls aren’t white, they’re sky blue. So I don’t know IF this would be too much blue or not. The bottom half of the walls ARE white. On the pillow sham I want to do a monogram in white where the blue is.

I’m STILL trying to get all of this figured out! You’d think after a year I’d have it wouldn’t you?

OK went and looked at fabric tonight and had my paint card with me and I never did find a blue that would work for the stripe in this quilt to match my blue walls or even come close to matching! :( I even looked a printed fabric with white in it so it would look right to add the white piece in it. Now I'm back to square one again.
I wanted to somehow incorporate beige into it as well. I had thought if I could find cloth with beige and white that I could do a beige bed skirt. Anyway still trying to figure it out.

 

Oh man Punky, that is GORGEOUS! I LOVE LOVE LOVE all that lace! That is just beautiful! Hey you guys check this out! Isn’t it pretty? CLICK HERE 

OUCH at the price of the king size one though. :(

Old Linens

Found me some old linens at a great bargain! Paid $9.63 for all of this along with a piece of a telescope. Yeah, I needed a piece off it for one I had found a few weeks back on a tripod. This one was the same name brand and I knew it was cheap so I got it to fix the other one with. ;)

These are 3 scarves that someone did a neat stitch on around the sides in pink.

A crocheted one. It’s a little larger than a dinner plate.

This one was hand embroidered. Look at the work!

This is a toaster cover I think. It has also been embroidered. Then on the other side it has just a grouping of the flowers and not the X’s.

  Check this next one out! I already found a home for it! I sure wish the colors were more true. :( This one is just gorgious! I even got another close up pic of it.

Close up…. isn’t this awesome work? I mean it’s perfect!

 

And then this square table cloth. On each corner is castles and the names of each! I’ll use this on my round table when I have the leaf out.

This next one I ALSO dearly LOVE!

This is the middle of the square tablecloth.

I also love this one but can’t figure out just where/what I want to do with it because it is an embroidered square pillow cover.

This is a jacket like shirt that has embroidery on the back of it. I just feel in love with the pink flowers. It doesn’t fit me unfortunately so I will make a throw pillow or something out of it I guess. Actually it’s thread bare in a few spots anyway except for where the embroidery is. Also It’s on a hanger here so that’s light you see toward the bottom of the shirt.  I took a couple pix of it as well because the pockets had these roses on them as well. Sorry, they are a little blurred because I tried to get a really good close up of them.

Got these little dishes to make some holders for my pillow candles with. I am going to decorate them with some seashells for the bedroom. Also the fish below will go in the bedroom as well.

 

Hope you enjoyed seeing all the linens.

Have you found any bargains lately you want to share with me? Feel free to leave me a comment, I love them!

Rose

Pumpkin Carving

Tonight my daughter, her boyfriend Waylon, her friend Katy, and Katy’s son Kelton, and I got together to carve some pumpkins. As you can tell we got hot and opened the windows. Ahhhhh gotta love the south! ;)

They did really well on carving theirs. I chickened out and just did a traditional carving. lol I don’t have the patience for all that drawing, punching, etc. We all had lots of fun. Katy even brought a haunted CD for us to listen to to get us in the spirit of things. I got plenty of pumpkin to make some pumpkin pies with now.

Cindy carved this one.

Waylon’s masterpiece. He freehanded this one.

All of them together.

Cindy’s spider one she did.

Waylon’s face he carved.

Kelton’s cat face.

Katy’s witch face. She also did the large face one in the pic of all of ours together. It’s the face toward the bottom of the pic.

Oh and to top off the night, Kelton had a loose tooth and he wound up pulling the thing out and grossed us all out. ;)

Is this do-able?

I took this out of my kitchen a few weeks back just to use for right now in our bedroom. I have my bedroom suit up for sale in town in a shop. So we needed something to put our clothes in until I found something I liked and got it painted etc. Well as you know I found something and now it is painted. So I was trying to figure out WHAT to do with this piece. I have NO CLUE what it’s suppose to be.

A friend of mine gave it to me a few years back. She took me to a storage shed where she had stuff stored that she was going to get rid of and told me to get what I wanted. I got this piece and I have always called it a sideboard. Anyway I’ve always had it in the dining room but it made it really cluttered in there because the rooms sooo small. So I wasn’t planning on putting it back in there when I got the dresser and chest painted for our bedroom.

I really really want to keep it because it IS unique and my friend gave it to me. So I was trying to figure out just what I could do with it when it hit me last night. There is a band of wood around the whole thing on each end and in the front under the drawers.

Before I go on, let me put a pic on here for you to refer to.

See the band of wood under the drawers? I want to cut it off right there under the drawers. Then take the slide doors and match them up, in other words butt one sliding door up to the other one so they will be even with each other. Right now one is behind the other one. That will make it look like it has sliding drawers but they will not open. Then I’d take the top off and that would be the lid for me a quilt and blanket box. Then I could sit it at the end of my bed. It’s just the perfect size for a quilt box!!! I had ALMOST decided to get rid of it when I came up with this idea. I will put a hinge on the lid so the lid will lift up. I could use parts of the drawers for supports on the lid if I need to support it. I really really love the idea of having a place to put my quilts and blankets!!! I’d like to leave it this color if I can and we don’t mess it up to bad cutting it. Then I can just varnish it and make it look nicer because right now it’s scruffy looking. Someone had tried to wax the wood I believe because it is now smooth.

Please ignore my subflooring. I’m getting ready to put down some floor covering in there.

Dresser

Wanted to show you all the pix with the mirrors and them painted as well as the dresser painted and see now which one you prefer and why?

I don’t have the mirrors in their frames yet so my dear hubby is holding them in place while I take the pix. The mirrors are dusty from being in the attic. I will have to clean them before I put them in their frames.

 

Mirror #1

 

 

Mirror #2

Dresser and Mirror

I got the first coat of paint on it all today. Now to put one more and then some varnish! Yes and this one will also be finished! LOVE getting these things DONE!

Well I managed to get the dresser sanded day before yesterday. Then went back yesterday and sanded the top one more time because it wasn't as smooth as I'd like it. Then yesterday I also sanded the larger mirror. Last night I got a coat of primer on all of it. Was going to do that today until I saw it was suppose to be 90% chance of rain today. I'm going to put one more coat on one of the drawers and a tiny spot I missed and I will be done with the primer. In a couple days maybe I can get it painted because the rains suppose to be out of here. I had decided with some advice from the decorating ladies to use the larger mirror and then some suggested the two smaller ones. Now I'm seriously thinking about sanding those other two mirrors and going ahead and putting a coat of primer on those as well. That way I can see which one looks the best with the dresser with them all the same color. I put the two together and just didn't like the looks of it sitting on the dresser. It looked too small. Anyway so I am a couple steps closer to having this part done.

Neat Shots 3 (cont.)

This was the area where the water came into when the tide is really in. I thought this was so neat how the water did the sand in the curve area. The water was glistening like glass.

I liked how the sand came into the water on the right side of this one and the sun shining in the left side and then the sea oats and pretty clouds.

More of the sea oats.

Notice the sea gull (or at least I think that’s what that was) in the top right side of the pic. I liked the old tree stump and the grass and curvy edge to the water in this shot. 

And last, here’s another one of those pieces of wood with all those little holes in it. I had picked it up looking at it and then decided I should have gotten a pic of it. Notice my footprint there in the sand at the bottom of the pic. lol Also notice the barnacles' on the piece of wood there at the top of the pic. Isn’t that cool?

I hope you’re enjoying all these photo’s! I know I had fun taking them! :)

Rose

Old Trees, Live Oaks

This old oak was so neat. I sure hope it’s not dead but it sure looks like it is. This was in the area where the Indians came and eat oysters many many years ago and they have a huge pile of shells mounded up. The Indians came down this way in the winter time so I am told and they would sit and eat the oysters and throw the shells in a pile. They let you visit the area and this tree was in the area.

This honeysuckle vine was in the same area.

This curvy stick looks a little like a snake lying on top of the grass and weeds.

Isn’t it neat how this vine just kept piling itself up at the foot of this tree?

One of the live oak trees.

This tree had these knots all over it! I don’t know WHAT kind of tree it is but it caught my daughters eye as well as mine. I said to her, surely it was from woodpeckers?

 

One of those large live oaks.

Vines, vines, and more vines. Look how huge these things are!

A little bunny rabbit that was at the opening of the area we went into the shell mound. It was running wild. We got pretty close to it taking the pix.

This is another one of the huge live oaks. It is filled with moss.

This live oak was in a little park.

One more…..

This little squirrel was at the base of the pine on the left when I saw it and ran to get my camera out of the car. When I came back it had ran down the tree so far until I had to hunt for it. I took a couple pix of it and then it decided it would come up to this vine and sit between the two trees. It sat and posed for me while I took a bunch of pix of it. I might have to frame one of these!

Neat Shots (cont.)

Here are some more neat shots. My daughter took these next three pix which I thought was really neat!

She also took this pic of the morning glories in the sand.

I saw this old piece of wood and thought it was so neat with all these holes in it. The sand and water has rotted it over time and it’s really unique.

My daughter, Cindy also took this next pic of the turtle. This one was taken in the Audubon Society’s area. A little boy brought some bread with him and he was feeding the turtles some of it. This one was a soft shell turtle.

This heron was close to a guy that was fishing. As I got closer to him I could see a fish flopping on the sand. I told the guy, he is wanting your fish. He responds, he was eating out of my bucket. It was eating his bait to catch the fish with. He turned around and he was munching down on his bait. lol Now that’s makes new meaning to a free lunch. Well actually this was Sunday breakfast. lol

Another neat shot of the sandy beach at the end. Water is on both sides because it gets narrow toward the end.

The water here is washed in when the tide is up. There is a really wide area of sand here in the middle before it actually gets to the beach edge. But I thought this was neat where the curves are and how it has that layered look from the water washing up against the sand.

I took this pic just as the pelican was picking up to fly. They sit on the water waiting for a snack to swim by. I have never in my life seen soooooooooo many pelicans in one place! They have herds here on this island and they call LA. the pelican state and I’m wondering why, because I have never seen them like they are here!

Next post I make I will show you some tree shots I took. They have lots of live oaks on the island and I mean some really old ones to.