Going to really talk about myself in this post. Not meaning it to be selfish but just sharing I guess you’d call it.
I don’t know about you ladies but I am over whelmed these days because I have so much that needs doing and I can’t get it all done. I have SO MANY projects that I WANT to do and just can’t seem to get them done. So many things that NEED doing and I just can’t get the energy a lot of times to get it all done. If I allow myself I could get depressed with it so easy because it is VERY discouraging!
Something Gina said over at Home Joys got me to thinking yet again the other day. I am a perfectionist and it’s very bad. I am almost NEVER pleased with anything I make or do in my projects because I see what I did “wrong” with them. I have had to work on this for many years now. So that makes me procrastinate sometimes in projects dreading it not turning out like I in vision it to be. No one else sees my mistakes but I do.
I haven’t felt well for a little over a year now so everything has just been put on hold that wasn’t an entire need to be done. Now that I am feeling better most days I am wanting to get some things done and have to keep reminding myself to not over do. For instance……
1. An old quilt I found at the thrift store that is in much need of some repairs. (so it can be used this winter as a throw)(But not REALLY a NEED)
2. Those notebook recipe books need to be finished that are sitting on my sewing table.
3. Hubby’s blue jeans to be hemmed. (not a REAL need, just needs doing)
4. Another pile of sewing and mending that needs doing.
5. Wall paper to be finished in our master bathroom and then mudding,priming and painting.
6. Bought a bedspread that needs repairing and applique to match our bedroom.
7. The rest of the fabric wrapped around the foam boards to be stocked on the cube shelves that were made for all of it.
8. Herds and herds of grass and weeding to be done in the flower beds. Grass also needs mowing right now.
9. Flowers to be transplanted into the flower beds.
10. Goldfish pond that needs cleaning out and the rocks fixed around it with cement so they wont keep falling into the pond.
11. Piles of pine limbs to be picked up in the pasture and burnt from the pine tree cutting mess hubby decided to do. That would be his project if he would choose to do it.
12. A stack of magazines and books of mine sitting on the sofa to be gone through to be given away or to keep.
13. Need to de-clutter this house again.
14. and I could go on and on and on and bore you to death but that should let you see into my world a bit.
I have a ruptured disk in my back as well so I can’t just go and go and go like I used to because it gets inflamed now when I do.
I wish it was in the budget to get some help around here at least once a month but it’s not, so it just keeps piling up.
Anyway it’s just so easy for me to get over whelmed with it all since it’s not getting done. I just have to back up from it all and say, OK Lord here I am again and I just need Your help again because I can’t handle all of this. I could sit back and feel sorry for myself to but I’m not going to do that because God wouldn’t be happy with me thinking like that either. It’s so hard to be content in these circumstances but I HAVE to at least try to bloom right where I am planted. I just don’t handle things being piled up very well. I was always taught to get in there and get er done and THEN you can rest. I can’t rest when I have a load of clothes sitting in front of me that needs folding. But when you’ve been physically fatigued to the point it’s hard for you to breath for over a year you’re forced to just wait until you CAN do it if someone else doesn’t choose to do it.
Then I also have to remember that I need to chill out and not over do since I have started feeling a little better and have started to do more. I am still having a lot of health issues but I am praying and hoping we’re nearing the end to getting it all figured out. Life can really get over whelming if we allow it to and start to thinking why me or why why why. I constantly have to turn things over to God and say to Him, ok You’ve got to help me, I can’t handle this.
I’m sure everyone gets over whelmed at times. Especially if you’re not well and able to get it done and don’t have someone to do it for you. Then you see it just keep on piling up on you. I pass old folks homes that I knew that ALWAYS kept their place looking SO NICE when they were younger and able to do so and my heart just aches for them because I know they’re not able to do it. It’s just so sad to me.
I have thought, ok God I KNOW there is a purpose for this and I know things happen for a reason. So could you please tell me WHAT the reason is please? (lol) Maybe BE STILL and know that I am God again? Since I am a do-er I can VERY EASILY see WHY Martha was asking God to make Mary help her since I am also a Martha because when I can and am able I am always doing. I LOVE to accomplish things and feel lazy when I sit around a lot. I KNOW I need to BE STILL and maybe one day I can get that one figured out on HOW to do it. Maybe sit aside a time each day at the SAME time to BE STILL? That would have worked before hubby retired but not now.
Anyway like me, if you’re over whelmed and wondering WHY, just ask for God to also help you because He can make it much easier to handle when we ask Him for help. We can’t go and take it into our own hands because that’s not pleasing in His sight. So just hang in there and visually see yourself handing it all over to God in His hands. The load gets much lighter for you!!!!